yes ..

yes. yes. yes. life has seriously been heartbreaking and amazing. i was feeling as though i'm not a good enough person, or that i'm less than everyone else sometimes.. but maybe everyone feels like that every once in a while. life in

north hills

has been pretty .. good. waaaayyyyyyy better than dry and flat ass lancaster. i feel like out here i can breathe; maybe it's because i can lol. shit i don't know.. anyway, i'm just figuring myself out. having some semi-fun; not too much, or i'll poke my out (words of that one dumb ass tv show).

i've made new friends - yay me! - and i've also gotten into a lot better shape - i used to claim i had a six pack and, while i did, you couldn't necessarily see the "packs." lmfao.. but they've came out of hiding, and are resting easy under my t-shirt. i'm proud of myself; it is NOT easy exercising and swimming six days out of the week. but i'm doing it, so i'm glad. i'm taking it one step at a time, and i'm doing alright.. i feel much more true with myself than before, likely because i'm not really surrounded by negativity anymore. but i feel more whole, more complete and simply more.. me. haha, i'm starting to sound all inspirational. but hey, i'm just moving forward.

so!

i found out the name of the high school i'm going to, and it's a ugly ass name.. monroe high school.. wtf. that shit is hideous, lmfao. but whatever, i'm going for my education and reassurance that i become something. i'm just waiting because i want to see what the kids are like, and the new attitudes. i noticed from what i've seen, a lot of ppl out here are cocky. they give you sideways looks and don't say anything. or maybe it's because black :P sheesh, i have no idea. but they better get used to me, because....

i'm..

fxcking..

here!!!

and i'm going to be here a while before i leave.. but i'm out. i'm going to zone out to some j*davey and chillax. see you on the flipside (i love that saying).. ♥☮♫