the end.
January 17, 2010
mind jog ...
this isn't going to be long; just wanna say a couple of thingsi ... got a new phone; the droid :]2010: just another year. i started it off believing that it'd be very, very different from 2009; guess i got my hopes up too high. friends are confusing; i'm thinking about becoming a loner. some of my teachers are beginning to irritate the fxck out of me; to them, i'm just a paycheck. and my quest for knowledge doesn't matter as long as they're getting their piece. journalism. photography. poetry. wrestling. life. they're all mine. i can't stop being afraid of the future. i've been depressed for going on a week now, and my questions have yet to be answered. no practice monday, and a match on tuesday. i'm anticipating everyday leading up to my first slr purchase. i don't understand the point of history if it must be so watered down ... so fake. i try to live my life without questioning god, but it's hard to walk wilst blinded. sometimes i don't want to live. am i selfish? maybe this is getting a little long... i want to go to fast. fast. FAST. i saw my mom today; her headstone couldn't have looked any better. my father is my hero. i cried the other night, for the first time in a long time. i cried for my life, my decisions, the things i can't have and my generation. i want to live on pandora, minus the transhumanism. for some reason, i've been feeling like this body ... this shell, it's not mine. i've been feeling like my soul is meant for somewhere else. am i alone? happy birthday, mlk.
p.s....
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